The United States of America has declared India to be a Terrorist State, on par with Iraq, Afghanistan and Korea. "They are harboring terrorists", said George Wacko Bush in a television interview at the White House, today. The US Department of Intelligence identified extreme Weapons of Mass Destruction within India. US officials were tipped off when a telephonic conversation in Chennai was tapped. "
Naan innikki naalu vedikka porein" - the caller had said. Shakt E Maan, a specialist in Asian Languages at the MIT, translated this to "I will be bombing four places today".
Spy satellites that have been photographing various parts of India have identified active terror cells in the small South Indian town of Sivakasi in Tamil Nadu State. Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD) have also been found in the same area and have been transferred to Area 51, Nevada for further analysis. The following photo of a WMD has been given to the Press...
"The range of these weapons are unknown. Intelligence reports claim that India-backed terrorists test fired these weapons successfully in the first week of November in various Indian cities", an official who did not want to be named, quoted.
Child TerroristsThe United States of America has also found that many Indian Children are being trapped into the net of violence. Children, at a very early stage are being taught to handle various kinds of pistols. "This is a very very unfortunate scenario", the US Congress observed. Ammunition for these pistols are also cheap and easily available in India.
Senator Scooby Doo added that all steps were being taken to apply pressure on the Indian Government to dis-arm its weapons. "We will take on India in war if it comes to that. This is the war against terror!!", President George Wacko Bush said.
China has also expressed its shock over the current revelations. Chinese External Affairs minister to the United States, Mr. Gan Koo Lee, called for world wide condemnation of the atrocities being carried out in India.
Motion Films to Spread the WordThe terror cells have produced motion films to spread their ideas into the minds of the Indian people. A recent motion film that was titled under the same name as the place where the WMD was found, contained scenes where a single person is shown fighting an unimaginable number of people, contaminating the minds of the Indians. Psycologists say that such films would successfully make the terror cells more active in various Indian states.
When quizzed about the protection being offered to the Indians in America and America in general, Vice President Billilaadha Gates said "We have made arrangements for the Indians in America to feel safe. Any untoward incident that happens to any Indian in American soil would only be in the interest of homeland security". We have moved the terror threat level to "Red". We are also looing at the idea of adding more colors to the threat level indicator. We are debating whether fluoroscent green would be a good option or not. Until that is confirmed, we will be oscillating the colors on a daily basis. This is done more so because CNN needs something to display on its network.
We would also like to advice the American population to not get confused between the colors of the traffic lights and the threat warning colors. Please note that the threat warning colors can change more often than what the traffic lights can. That would be a good indicator to differentiate between the two.
Latest Intelligence FindingsIn information just coming in, it is rumored that 12 Indian terrorists have just entered the Pakistani territory by air! The leader of the group, Rahul Dravid, had said in a television interview just before leaving for Pakistan "Our attack is good. Our batting is explosive and our bowling is ruthless. We are sure Pakistan can be defeated". The United States are keeping a close watch on the movement of these terrorists.
Stay tuned to One Crush for further developments!!
